New Duty?

It’s been so long since I have written in this diary. I feel guilty for not having put my thoughts down in here, but so much has happened in the last few months that I honestly haven’t had the time to relax and write.
Last I wrote my commander had called me in from the field where I was informed that I would no longer be a Ranger. I was to be trained in covert operations and essentially become a spy for the Imperial Army.
I had left his office with my mind reeling and a chit in hand for new equipment. All my trusty old supplies were left on his office carpet for someone else to dispose of.
I recalled that I very much wanted to talk to my husband Lotuss about what had just happened, but he was out of comm. range and couldn’t be reached. I was for the moment on my own.
Riding down several turbo lifts and walking through numerous corridors, I had a chance to reflect on my new situation. So I was no longer a Ranger, but a Spy. All my adult life I had been a hunter. Sure I had taken on and been assigned missions by the Empire that utilized my tracking, trapping, and concealment skills, but to be reassigned full time to covert operations just didn’t sit well with me.
Ever since regaining my memory after my accident on Dathomire, (with the help of Lotuss, Highway, and this journal) I had been thinking about my role as a hunter and soldier in the Imperial army. I wasn’t sure if this was the direction I wanted to go with my life.
I am still sensitive to people’s moods and feelings, having almost a clairvoyant perception of what they are thinking, which has helped me in my fighting skills. From what I have read and learned through conversations with others, this is what is called being force sensitive. Jedi I’m told have this ability one hundred fold. It’s this force sensitivity that makes them such formidable warriors.
I had thought that I would pursue this sensitivity of mine more in-depth at a later time, but if this new assignment doesn’t work out I may start sooner.
I finally made it to the supply department of the Imperial complex. Walking through the door I entered a barren, harshly lit room with a heavily secured door, a small open window and a push button between the two at the far end. Above the button, a small sign announced “Press button for service”.
Not seeing anyone, I pushed the button. Immediately a head poked itself out of the window. Startled, I backed up a few steps. “Yes?” the head, which belonged to a Lance Corporal, asked. Gathering up my composure, I thrust the chit I had been given in his direction.
He took the chit, looked it over and disappeared.
A short time later, I heard servomotors whining and latches opening on the heavy steel door. A small panel slid up into the door and a satchel slid out of the opening.
The Lance Corporal appeared once again at the window “If you will just sign this requisition ma’am you can be on your way,” he said.
I looked over the requisition and invoice noting the contents of the satchel and signed.
Handing the paper back to the supply attendant, I picked up the satchel and started for the door. “Ma’am? He asked before I could exit the room. “Yes?”
I turned back to face him. This time I took the time to really look at the face in the window. He was young, really young. I don’t think he could have been more then nineteen or twenty years old. I couldn’t help but think back to when I first joined the army. I myself had been as young, and so full of hate for what had happened to my family on the trip from my home world. My God! That seemed so long ago now, and my whole perspective on the civil war has changed.
“Umm…I…err…was wondering…” He started, looking slightly embarrassed, and more then a little unsure of himself, “Are you really in the Special Forces?” “I’m sorry I don’t mean to pry ma’am, but I haven’t seen anyone but men pick up the issue I just gave you”.
“You’re the first female officer I have given this particular requisition too ma’am”.
My first thought to his question was “really?” with my next thought being “just how many have been here before me?”
I answered his question with an affirmative nod of my head, smiled, turned back to the door and walked out.
When the door had closed behind me I leaned back against the cold hallway wall, closed my eyes and took a few calming breathes.
The feeling that I was getting into something that I didn’t really want to do had crept into my mind while I had waited for the Lance Corporal to fill my requisition chit. When he had made the statement that I was also the only woman he had saw sent to pick up these new supplies, the feeling had almost overwhelmed me.
Feeling a bit more under control of my emotions I started once again for the exit. My steps were hurried, I wanted out of this complex. I wanted to get out and get as far away from everyone and everything, especially the army in the worst way.
Once more I wondered where Lotuss was, and that I really needed to see him, feel him, be with him. “Lotuss where are you when I need you?”